The Bachelor: SONIC EDITION
by GRRGRR8492
Summary: It's everyone's least favourite TV show, The Bachelor! But with Sonic characters, so its automatically better...mabye? SonicxEveryone WARNING: THIS STORY IS KIND OF STUPID.


**The bachelor: Sonic Edition**

 **Chapter 1**

Osherchao*: Hello. I'm Osherchao. Welcome to the Bachelor. This year our bachelor is Sonic the Hedgehog. Sonic is blue! Wow!

(*Osher is the host of the bachelor Australia)

Press the X button to meet the contestants.

The first contestant is Amy who arrives in a pink limousine.

Sonic: Oh crap, Amys on this show. She'll kill all the other contestants!

Amy: Hi sonic, now I finally have a chance to marry you! Look, I got you a present.

Sonic opens the present and finds that it's a book with every Sonamy fanfiction every written in it, including all the M rated ones. He reads a few pages and instantly regrets it.

Sonic: AHH MY EYES!

Amy: That's my favorite book and soon it will all become true. Bye.

Sonic quickly runs to the nearest volcano and throws the book into it. Then he returns to the mansion, feeling very traumatised.

Osherchao: Time for the next contestant.

Sonic: I QUIT!

Osherchao: (brings out a giant nuclear missile launcher) NO ONE QUITS. YOU MUST FIND TRUE LOVE OR YOU WILL BE EXPLODED!

Sonic: I'll be good.

Osherchao: The next contestant is Tails. Tails has two Tails.

Sonic: Yay, at least tails won't give me evil fanfiction. Wait, why is Tails trying to date me?!

Tails is flying his plane towards the Bachelor mansion.

Sonic: Hi Tails.

Tails: Hi Sonic. OH NO I FORGOT TO PUT ON THE LANDING GEAR D: AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Tails crashes in to the mansion and leaves a big plane shaped hole in the wall.

Osherchao: You're paying for that with money! Money is GREEN!

Next is Shadow. Shadow is driving towards the mansion on his motorbike with All Hail Shadow playing at top volume, going 300km over the speed limit. He jumps of the motorbike without stopping it so it leaves a motorbike shaped hole right next to Tail's plane shaped hole. Then he takes out a big gun and shoots a million bullets into the mansion which destroys everyone's cocktails.

Shadow walks past sonic without saying anything and goes into the mansion.

Silver is next. He is levitating towards sonic using psychokinesis.

Silver: Sonic please be my boyfriend. I wrote a song for you.

Sonic: Oh no.

Silver: Sonic please take me on a single date

I really don't want to have to wait

I promise I won't hit you in the face with a crate

Or cheat on you with some girl named Kate

We will be in lovOUCH.

Silver accidently floats into a pole because he wasn't looking where he was going.

Silver: ITS NO USE (runs away into the mansion.)

Sonic: That was lucky.

Meanwhile in the mansion Amy is getting very mad at the other contestants.

Amy: SONIC IS MINE. NO ONE GETS TO DATE HIM BUT ME. GRRRR.

Amy brings out her hammer and starts chasing everyone with it. She tries to hit them but keeps missing and making holes in the walls. Eventually she finds Tails trying to hide under a table.

Tails: AMY, NO!

Amy: GET AWAY FROM MY BOYFRIEND (hits tails and makes him go flying through the window and into the garden where they grow all the roses for the rose ceremony.

Tails: Ow, pointy :(

Back on the red carpet, the next contestant is approaching and its Cream.

Cream: Hi Sonic, I made you a present.

Cream hands sonic a drawing of them together as stick figures, picking flowers in a field.

Sonic: Wow Cream, this is really nice but aren't you a bit young to be on this show? You are only 6.

Cream: What do you mean? 6 is a big number. I'm definitely old enough for dating.

Sonic: Uhhh, ok?

Cream: Hey, Tails destroying those pretty flowers! Grr, bad Tails! (runs away to yell at Tails some more)

Sonic: Well, Cream might be young but at least she won't destroy the mansion like everyone else…probably….mabye.

Knuckles is the next contestant. He is gliding to the mansion because he doesn't like limosines. He has also decided to take the master emerald with him. Unfortunatly oversized gem stones are very heavy and knuckles dropped it just before he landed. Even more unfortunately it landed right on top of Sonic.

Sonic: Mmmmmmmmmphmmmmmmmmpppphmpmmmmmmphhhhh

Knuckles: Oops (runs away)

After several hours of tunneling and Osherchao repeatedly telling him to press the B button to dig, Sonic escapes.

Sonic: He is so not getting a rose.

Next, Rouge arrives.

Rouge: Ha ha ha! Knuckles you idiot, the master emerald is unguarded and now its mine! OOH, that house looks fancy, I bet it has lots of fancy things to steal.

Rouge kisses Sonic.

Sonic: ?

Osherchao: Wow! A kiss on the first episode! How exciting!

Rouge: If you give me lots of roses I'll let you see boobies!

Sonic: Boooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooobies :)

Sonic is busy thinking about boobies when suddenly he is interrupted.

Big: Hi Sawwwnic

Sonic: Big wants to date me?

Big: We will get married and have a big fish cake. (froggy escapes)

Big: OH NO I MUST SAVE FWAAAGY

Big runs to the pool and starts fishing.

Now its time for the filler contestants that no one cares about and only get 5 seconds of screen time!

There's Middle Aged Man.

Middle aged man: Hey.

And a random Motobug

Motobug: VROOM

Hatsun the Pidgeon

Hatsun: Coooo

And of course, that kid that got stuck on the roof in Sonic 06.

Roof Kid: WAAAAAAAAAAA, IM STUCK ON THE ROOF :(

Next time on The Bachelor: Green Hill Zone, more introductions from characters that actually matter.


End file.
